Have you ever stopped for a second and thought about how many businesses and industries would go bust if everybody were happy with themselves the way they are?
Mine, for one, probably wouldn’t exist. The personal training industry, that is.
In my opinion, our current ‘universe’ is created to make us feel miserable, most of the time. Created by whom? Large companies whose products will apparently help us to feel better about ourselves, for a start.
Subtle marketing and peer pressure designed in a way to give us the constant sense that we are not good enough.
Not pretty enough.
Not thin enough.
Not strong enough.
Not wealthy enough.
Not loved enough.
Not tall enough.
Matt Haig said in “Reasons To Stay Alive”:
“THE WORLD IS increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”
Now let’s get real.
Becoming happy with yourself isn’t an overnight fix – even if you do momentarily whilst reading this blog, decide that you are just going to be happy from now on, and that’ll be that.
No, sorry…it doesn’t work that way. Even the people who write the books about happiness and enough-ness are making a profit from your unhappiness. And you know what, that’s okay. We need these people – they’re one step ahead of us and have something to teach us.
It’s just that we have also been conditioned into believing that it’s weak to want to ask for help.
So not only are you not feeling good enough and not feeling happy – but you also believe that it’s a sign of weakness if you want to ask for help.
I used to feel exactly the same.
I can actually remember the moment where it all clicked for me.
Suddenly, I realised that I could pretty much solve ALL of my problems if I would just stop being such a stubborn bitch and asked for help. My friends offered me most of the help that I needed, which was awesome. But of course I have enlisted the help of professionals as and when I have needed.
I got over the fear of asking for help when I realised that it was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.
So what I guess I’m trying to say to you today girls is this:
You are not alone if you are unhappy with your body, your relationship, your career, your life and it’s okay to NOT be okay!
Give yourself permission to just ‘feel’. Just feel how you’re feeling, listen to yourself for a change and take your time to figure out what is going to make you happy / happier. Enjoy the journey, trust the process and guess what?
It’s absolutely NOT weak to ask for help.
It’s either that, or you spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been if you did.